Moving Average Gut Oder Schlecht

Einige praktische Gedanken über Selbstmord In diesem Beitrag werde ich über Selbstmord sprechen, und warum I8217m noch auf diesem Planeten. Diese sind Geschichten, die I8217ve Geheimnis von meiner Familie, von Freundinnen und von den engsten Freunden für Jahre hielt. Vor kurzem hatte ich jedoch eine Erfahrung, die mich 8212 schüttelte, weckte mich 8212 und ich beschloss, dass es Zeit war, alles zu teilen. So, trotz der Schande, die ich fühlen könnte, die Angst, dass meine Handflächen schwitzen macht, wie ich diese, erlauben Sie mir, um loszulegen. 8220Möchtest du das bitte für meinen Bruder unterschreiben? Das würde ihm viel bedeuten.8221 Er war ein freundlicher Fan. Es gab vielleicht ein Dutzend Leute um mich herum Fragen zu stellen, und er hatte höflich wartete an der Reihe. Die Frage: Eine einfache Signatur. Es war Freitagabend, gegen 19 Uhr, und eine Live-Aufnahme des TWiST-Podcast war gerade beendet. Da war Strom in der Luft. Jason Calacanis, der Gastgeber und Interviewer, weiß, wie man auf eine Show setzen. He8217d hob die Menge auf und hielt die Dinge für mehr als 2 Stunden auf der Bühne rollen und fragte mich jede erdenkliche Frage. Der Veranstaltungsort8211Pivotal Labs8217 Büros in der Innenstadt SF8211had auf Kapazität verpackt worden. Jetzt fuhren mehr als 200 Leute umher, trinken Wein oder gingen zu den Wochenenden. Eine Handvoll Teilnehmer versammelten sich in der Nähe der Mikros für Bilder und Buchinschriften. Vor allem, wie ich, um zu ihm zu sagen, zu Ihrem Bruder8221 fragte ich diesen einen Herrn, der makellos in einem Anzug gekleidet war. Sein Name war Silas. Er fror für einige Sekunden, aber Augenkontakt gehalten. Ich sah seine Augen flattern. Es war etwas Ungewöhnliches, dass ich nicht einen Finger auf setzen konnte. Ich beschloss, den Druck aus: 8220I8217m sicher, ich kann kommen mit etwas. Seid ihr echt cool, Silas nickte. Ich schrieb ein paar Zeilen, fügte ein Smiley-Gesicht, unterzeichnet das Buch he8217d gebracht, und reichte es zurück. Er bedankte sich und rückte aus der Menge. Ich verzichtete und kehrte zum Plaudern mit den anderen zurück. Etwa 30 Minuten später musste ich laufen. Meine Freundin war gerade bei SFO gelandet und ich musste sie zum Abendessen treffen. Ich ging auf die Fahrstühle zu. 8220Excuse me, Tim8221 Es war Silas. He8217d wartete auf mich. 8220Can Ich rede mit Ihnen für eine second8221 8220Sure, 8221 Ich sagte, 8220but zu Fuß mit mir.8221 Wir schlängelten sich um Tische und Schreibtische in die relative Privatsphäre der Aufzug Vestibül, und ich schlug den Down-Button. Sobald Silas seine Geschichte begann, vergaß ich den Aufzug. Er entschuldigte sich schon früher, weil er keine Antwort hatte. Sein jüngerer Bruder, der ich das Buch unterzeichnete, hatte vor kurzem Selbstmord begangen. Er war 22. 8220He schaute zu Ihnen auf, 8221 Er liebte, Ihnen und Joe Rogan zuzuhören. Ich wollte deine Unterschrift für ihn bekommen. Ich legte ihn in sein Zimmer.8221 Er deutete auf das Buch. Ich konnte Tränen in seinen Augen sehen, und ich fühlte mein eigenes tun das gleiche. Er machte weiter. 8220Personen hören dir zu. Haben Sie jemals darüber nachgedacht, über diese Dinge zu sprechen Über Selbstmord oder Depression Sie könnten vielleicht jemanden retten.8221 Jetzt war es an mir, ihn anzustarren. Ich wußte nicht, was ich sagen sollte. Ich habe auch didn8217t eine Ausrede. Unbemerkt zu ihm, hatte ich allen Grund, über Selbstmord zu sprechen. I8217d nur die Oberfläche mit ein paar kurzen Stellen über Depressionen. Einige meiner engsten Freunde der High School töteten sich. Einige meiner engsten Collegefreunde töteten sich. Fast hätte ich mich umgebracht. 8220I8217m so leid für Ihren Verlust, 8221 sagte ich zu Silas. Ich fragte mich, ob er mehr als drei Stunden warten musste, um mir das zu sagen. Ich vermutete, dass er hatte. Gut für Ihn. Er hatte größere Bälle als ich. Sicherlich, I8217d scheiterte sein Bruder, indem er so ein Feigling in meinem Schreiben war. Wie viele andere hatte ich versagt? Diese Fragen schwammen mir in den Sinn. Ich werde darüber schreiben8221 sagte ich zu Silas, ungeschickt klopfte seine Schulter. Ich war weggeworfen. Und damit kam ich in den Fahrstuhl. Sie versuchten uns zu begraben. Sie didn8217t wissen, dass wir Samen waren.8221 8211 Mexikanisches Sprichwort Es gibt einige Geheimnisse, die wir don8217t teilen, weil sie8217re peinlich sind. Wie die Zeit traf ich eine Ikone, indem ich zufällig auf seine Freundin in einem Coffee-Shop, dass8217s eine gute (traurig, N). Oder die Zeit ein Berühmtheitstafel-geliehener mein Laptop, um ein langweiliges Firmenvideo zu projizieren, und ein Flackern des Porns tauchte up8211a La Fight Club8211in vor einer Menge von 400 Leuten auf Ein weiteres gutes Beispiel. Aber dann gibt es dunkle Geheimnisse. Die Dinge, die wir niemandem erzählen. Die Schatten, die wir bewahrt haben, aus Angst, unser Leben zu enträtseln. Für mich war 1999 voller Schatten. So sehr, dass ich sie nie wieder besuchen wollte. Ich hatte über diese traumatische Periode öffentlich bis letzte Woche gesprochen, zuerst in einer reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything). Dann in größerer Tiefe auf Derek Halpern8217s Podcast. Was folgt, ist die Abfolge meiner Abwärtsspirale. Lesen Sie die unten, seine unglaublich, wie trivial einige von ihm im Rückblick scheint. Damals war es der perfekte Sturm. Ich schließe Formulierung wie 8220impossible Situation, 8221 die reflektiert mein Denken zu der Zeit, nicht objektive Realität. Ich erinnere mich noch lebhaft an diese Ereignisse, aber alle Anführungszeichen werden paraphrasiert. Bitte entschuldigen Sie auch alle grammaticaltense Fehler, denn es war schwer für mich, dies zu tun. Also, wo es begann8230 Es ist mein älteres Jahr in Princeton. I8217m geplant, um im Juni 1999 zu graduieren. Irgendwann in den ersten sechs Monaten passieren mehrere Dinge in der Spanne von ein paar Wochen: Ich schaffe es nicht, um es zu letzten Interviews für McKinsey Consulting und Trilogie-Software, zusätzlich zu anderen. Ich habe keine Ahnung, was Im tun falsch, und ich beginne Vertrauen zu verlieren, nachdem ich im Spiel der Akademiker so lange gewann. Eine langfristige (für ein College-Kind, anyway) Freundin bricht mit mir kurz danach. Nicht wegen des Jobmaterials, sondern weil ich in diesem Zeitraum unsicherer wurde, wollte mehr Zeit mit ihr und war massiv störend für ihre letzte Uni Sportsaison. Was mit mir falsch ist, habe ich ein verhängnisvolles Treffen mit einem meiner Diplom-Berater in der Abteilung für Ostasiatische Studien. Nachdem er einen Teilentwurf meiner Arbeit gelesen hat, präsentiert er einen großen Stapel von Original-Recherchen in Japanisch für mich zu integrieren. Ich gehe mit meinem Kopf drehen, wie werde ich diese Diplomarbeit (die in der Regel laufen 60-100 Seiten oder mehr) vor dem Abschluss Was werde ich tun Sein Wichtig zu beachten, dass bei Princeton, ist die ältere These weitgehend als die Höhepunkt Ihrer vierjährigen Karriere. Das spiegelt sich in seiner Sortierung. Die Arbeit lohnt sich oft rund 25 Ihrer gesamten Abteilung GPA (Englisch Abteilung Beispiel hier). Nach all dem ging es weiter wie folgt8230 Ich finde eine Rettungsmöglichkeit Im Rahmen der Erforschung des Sprachlernens für die Diplomarbeit stellte ich einen wunderbaren Doktoranden vor, der bei Berlitz International arbeitet. Bernie war sein Name. Wir haben ein spätes Abendessen eine Nacht auf der Witherspoon Street in Princeton. Er spricht mehrere Sprachen und ist ein Nerd, genau wie ich. Eine Stunde verwandelt sich in zwei, die sich in drei verwandelt. Am Ende, sagt er, Sie wissen, seine zu schlecht youre Abschluss in ein paar Monaten. Ich habe ein Projekt, das für Sie perfekt wäre, aber es beginnt früher. Dies könnte genau die Lösung I8217m auf der Suche nach Ich chatte mit meinen Eltern über potenziell ein Jahr aus, beginnend in der Mitte meines älteren Jahres. Dies würde mir Zeit zu beenden und zu polieren, die These, während gleichzeitig Tests Arbeitsplätze in der realen Welt. Es scheint wie eine riesige Win-Win, und meine Eltern zu ihrem Kredit sind sehr unterstützend. Die Princeton Mächte OK die Idee, und ich traf mit dem oben genannten Berater, um ihn über meine Entscheidung zu informieren. Anstatt glücklich zu sein, dass Im Zeit nehmen, um die These richtig (was ich erwartet hatte), scheint er wütend: 8220So youre gerade beenden. Zu kopieren. Das ist besser die beste These, die ich je in meinem Leben gesehen habe. In meinem gestressten Zustand höre ich eine Reihe von dünn verhüllten Drohungen und Ultimaten, aber kein Professor würde das tatsächlich tun Ein abweisendes Lachen und ein curt 8220Good luck.8221 I8217m zerkleinert und wandern heraus in einer Benommenheit. Sobald ich meine Fassung wiedergefunden habe, wendet sich mein Schock in Zorn. Wie konnte ein Dissertationsberater einen Schüler mit einer schlechten Note bedrohen, nur weil sie sich Zeit genommen hatten, wusste ich, dass meine These 828die beste These8221 war, die er je gesehen hatte, also war es praktisch eine Garantie für eine schlechte Note, auch wenn ich einen tollen Job gemacht hätte. Dies wäre für jedermann offensichtlich, ich triff mich mit mehreren Personen in der Princeton-Administration, und die Antwort ist einfach 8220He wouldnt tun, dass.8221 I8217m sprachlos. Bin ich ein Lügner genannt Warum sollte ich liegen Was war mein Anreiz Es schien, als wäre niemand bereit, das Boot mit einem älteren (ich glaube tenured) Professor zu schaukeln. I8217m sprachlos und fühlen sich verraten. Fakultätspolitik ist mehr als ich. Ich verlasse meine Freunde in der Schule und verschiebe den Campus zur Arbeit, den ich für Berlitz remote finde. Remote bedeutet, dass ich am Ende zu Hause selbst zu arbeiten. Dies ist ein Rezept für eine Katastrophe. Die Arbeit ist lohnend, aber ich verbringe meine ganze Arbeitszeit von wann ich wache, wenn ich ins Bett gehe und hunderte von Notizen und Recherchen der Dissertation auf meinem Schlafzimmerboden untersuche. Sein ein unkontrollierbares Durcheinander. Nach 2-3 Monaten zu versuchen, meine Berater ursprüngliche japanische Forschung zu integrieren, ist die These eine Katastrophe. Trotz (oder vielleicht wegen) starrte auf Papier allein für 8-16 Stunden pro Tag, es8217s ein Frankensteins-Monster von falschen beginnt, Sackgassen und Forschung, die nicht dort sein sollte in den ersten Platz. Völlig unbrauchbar. Ich bin ohne Zweifel in schlechterer Form als wenn ich die Schule verließ. Meine Freunde schulen, feiern und verlassen Princeton zurück. Ich sitze in einer Wohnung außerhalb des Campus, gefangen in einer unmöglichen Situation. Meine Arbeit Arbeit geht nirgendwo, und selbst wenn es sich herausstellt, spektakulär, habe ich (in meinem Kopf) ein rachsüchtiger Berater, der mich verbrennen wird. Durch das Verbrennen von mir, Hölle zerstören alles, was Ive geopfert für seit der High School: große Noten in der High School hat mich nach Princeton, große Noten in Princeton sollte mir einen Traumjob zu bekommen, etc. Durch das Brennen von mir, Hölle machen Princetons astronomischen Unterricht verschwendet Geld, Nichts weiter als ein kleines Vermögen, das meine Familie weggepisst hat. Ich schlafe in bis 2 oder 3pm. Ich kann nicht mit den Haufen von unvollendete Arbeit um mich herum. Mein Bewältigungsmechanismus ist, mich in den Blättern zu bedecken, die Zeit wach zu machen und auf ein Wunder zu hoffen. Kein Wunder kommt. Dann eines Nachmittags, als ich 18217m durch eine Barnes und Noble ohne Ziel vor allem, ich Zufall auf ein Buch über Selbstmord wanderte. Gleich vor mir auf einem Tisch. Vielleicht ist dies das Wunder8221 Ich setze mich und lese das ganze Buch, wobei reichliche Notizen in eine Zeitschrift, einschließlich anderer Bücher, die in der Bibliographie aufgelistet sind. Zum ersten Mal im Alter, Im aufgeregt über die Forschung. In einem Meer von Ungewissheit und hoffnungslosen Situationen, fühle ich mich wie Ive Hoffnung gefunden: die endgültige Lösung. Ich kehrte zum Campus von Princeton zurück. Dieses Mal gehe ich gerade zur Firestone Bibliothek, um alle Suizid-bezogenen Bücher auf meiner To-do Liste heraus zu überprüfen. Ein besonders vielversprechender Titel ist da, also behalte ich ihn vor. Ill als nächstes in der Schlange, wenn es zurück kommt. Ich frage mich, was der arme Bastard liest, und wenn sie es zurückgeben können. Es ist wichtig, hier zu erwähnen, dass ich bis dahin vorbei war. Die Entscheidung war mir klar. Id irgendwie gescheitert, malte mich in diese lächerliche Ecke, vergeudete ein Vermögen auf einer Schule, die nicht über mich kümmerte, und was wäre der Punkt, anders zu tun, um diese Art von Fehlern für immer zu wiederholen, um eine hoffnungslose Belastung für mich und meine Familie und sein Freunde Fuck das. Die Welt war besser, ohne einen Verlierer, der nicht diese grundlegende Scheiße aus. Was würde ich jemals zu nichts beitragen. So wurde die Entscheidung getroffen, und ich war in voller - auf Planungsmodus. In diesem Fall war ich gefährlich gut in der Planung. Ich hatte 4-6 Szenarien alle specd out, beginnen zu beenden, einschließlich Kollaborateure und deckt, wenn nötig. Und das ist, wenn ich den Anruf erhielt. Meine Mama. Das war nicht im Plan. Id vergessen, dass Firestone-Bibliothek hatte jetzt meine Familie zu Hause Adresse auf Datei, als Id technisch genommen ein Jahr der Abwesenheit. Dies bedeutete, dass eine Notiz an meine Eltern geschickt wurde, etwas im Sinne von Good news. Das Selbstmordbuch, das Sie angefordert haben, ist jetzt in der Bibliothek zur Abholung verfügbar. Oops (und danke fucking God). Plötzlich am Telefon mit meiner Mutter gefangen, war ich unvorbereitet. Sie nervös nach dem Buch gefragt, so dachte ich schnell und gelogen: Oh, keine Notwendigkeit, sich darum zu kümmern. Sorry Einer meiner Freunde geht zu Rutgers und hatte keinen Zugang zu Firestone, so dass ich es für ihn reserviert. Hes, der über Depressionen schreibt und stuff.8221 Ich war von meinem eigenen Täuschung durch einen Un-in-ein-Million Unfall erschüttert. Es war nur dann, dass ich etwas erkannte: Mein Tod war nicht nur über mich. Es würde das Leben derjenigen, die ich am meisten interessierte, völlig zerstören. Ich stellte mir meine Mutter vor, die bei der Schaffung meiner Thesis keine Rolle gespielt hatte und bis zu ihrem sterbenden Tag leiden musste. Die nächste Woche habe ich beschlossen, den Rest meiner 8220year off8221 wirklich wegnehmen (zur Hölle mit der These) und konzentrieren uns auf körperliche und geistige Gesundheit. Das ist, wie die gesamte Sumo-Geschichte der 1999 chinesischen Kickboxing (Sanshou) Meisterschaften kam, wenn you8217ve lesen Sie die 4-Stunden-Arbeitswoche. Monate später, nachdem ich mich auf meinen Körper konzentriert hatte, anstatt in meinem Kopf gefangen zu sein, waren die Dinge viel klarer. Alles schien besser zu handhaben. Die 8220hopeless8221 Situation schien wie Scheiß Glück, aber nichts dauerhaft. Ich kehrte zu Princeton zurück, wandte mich in meine jetzt fertige These an meine still-sauer Berater, bekam in meiner Diplomarbeit Verteidigung gekaut, und didnt geben ein fuck. Es war nicht die beste These hed jemals gelesen, noch das Beste, was ich jemals geschrieben habe, aber ich war weitergegangen. Vielen Dank an einige Leute, die mir geholfen haben, mein Vertrauen wiederzuerlangen, dass letztes Semester. Keiner von ihnen hat diese Geschichte gehört, aber ich möchte sie gern geben. Unter anderem: Meine Eltern und Familie (natürlich), Professor Ed Zschau, Professor John McPhee, Sympoh-Tanzgruppe und meine Freunde im erstaunlichen Terrace Food Club. Ich absolvierte mit der Klasse von 2000, und Abschied von Nassau Hall. Ich gehe selten zurück, wie Sie sich vorstellen können. Links unfixed, haben Sie mehr tote Kinder auf Ihren Händen, garantiert. Es reicht nicht aus, darauf zu warten, daß die Menschen zu erreichen sind, oder um zu fordern, daß gefährdete Kinder eine Abwesenheit von der Uhrzeit der Universität nehmen. Vielleicht regelmäßig erreichen, um die gesamte Studentenschaft zu fangen Menschen, bevor sie fallen Es könnte so einfach wie E-Mail. Sidenote: Nach dem Studium habe ich mir versprochen, dass ich niemals mehr schreiben würde als eine E-Mail. Pretty urkomisch, dass ich jetzt schreibe 500-plus-Seite Bücher, eh Aus der Dunkelheit 8220Being zutiefst geliebt von jemand gibt Ihnen Kraft, während das Lieben jemand tief gibt Ihnen courage82308221 8211 Lao Tzu Erstens, lassen Sie mich eine retrospektive Analyse meiner Nähe Obliteration geben. Dann, I8217ll Ihnen ein paar Werkzeuge und Tricks, die ich immer noch für die Aufbewahrung der Dunkelheit bei arm8217s Länge. Nun, an diesem Punkt, könnten einige von euch auch denken 8220That8217s it. Ein Princeton-Student war an der Gefahr des Erhaltens eines schlechten Grades Boo-fuckin8217-hoo, Mann. Geben Sie mir eine break82308221 But8230 that8217s der gesamte Punkt. It8217s einfach, Sachen aus dem Verhältnis heraus zu blasen, um in der Geschichte verloren zu werden, die du dir sage, und zu denken, daß dein ganzes Leben auf einer Sache hängt, die Sie kaum erinnern 5-10 Jahre später. Das scheinbar alle wichtige Sache könnte eine schlechte Note, immer in College, eine Beziehung, eine Scheidung, immer gefeuert werden, oder nur ein paar Heckler im Internet. So, zurück zu unserer story8211why didn8217t, die ich mich töte Unten sind die Erkenntnisse, die mir (und einigen Freunden) geholfen haben. Sie sicherlich gewonnen für alle, die an Depressionen leiden, aber meine Hoffnung ist, dass sie einigen von Ihnen helfen. 1. Rufen Sie diese Nummer an. 1 (800) 273 & ndash; 8255. Ich habe es nicht, und ich wünschte, ich hätte. It8217s die National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Website und Live-Chat hier). It8217s verfügbar 24 Stunden am Tag, 7 Tage die Woche, sowohl in Englisch und Spanisch. Manchmal dauert es nur ein Gespräch mit einer vernünftigen Person, um eine schreckliche irrationale Entscheidung zu stoppen. Wenn Sie in Erwägung ziehen, Ihr Leben zu beenden, bitte erreichen Sie sie. Wenn Sie zu peinlich, um zuzugeben, dass, wie ich war, dann können Sie ping sie 8220 nur für ein paar Minuten zu chatten.8221 Pretend you8217re Zeit töten oder testen verschiedene Suicide Hotlines für ein Verzeichnis you8217re kompilieren. Was auch immer funktioniert. Wenn ich persönlich spreche, möchte ich die Geschenke sehen, die Sie der Welt bieten müssen. Und wenn du aus eigener Erfahrung sprichst, so glaube mir, auch dies wird vorübergehen, was immer es ist. 2. Ich erkannte, dass es andere Menschenleben zerstören würde. Töten können Sie geistig andere Menschen töten. Selbst wenn du nicht glücklich genug bist, wie ich war, von anderen Menschen geliebt zu werden, denke ich, dass es sich lohnt zu meditieren. Ihr Tod ist nicht perfekt isoliert. Es kann eine Menge zerstören, egal, ob Ihre Familie (die sich selbst beschuldigen wird), andere geliebte Menschen, oder einfach nur die Polizisten oder Polizisten, die Ihre Todesmaske tragen müssen, eine Karre aus einer Wohnung oder aus dem Wald holen. Das garantierte Ergebnis von Selbstmord ist nicht Dinge, die für Sie (oder leer), sondern die Schaffung einer Katastrophe für andere verbessern. Selbst wenn Ihre Absicht ist, sich durch Selbstmord zu rächen, wird der Schaden auf Ihre Ziele beschränkt. Ein Freund hat mir einmal gesagt, dass Töten ist wie Ihre Schmerzen, multipliziert es 10x, und geben es an diejenigen, die dich lieben. Ich stimme mit diesem, aber there8217s mehr. Über jede geliebte Person hinaus könnten Sie Nachbarn, unschuldige Umstehende ausgesetzt, um Ihren Tod, und die Menschen 8212 oft Kinder 8212, die 8220copycat Selbstmorde 8221 begehen, wenn sie über Ihren Tod zu lesen. Das ist die Wirklichkeit, nicht die Heilung aller Phantasie, des Selbstmords. Wenn man darüber nachdenkt, sich selbst zu töten, stell dir vor, du tragst eine Selbstmordattentäterin und gehst in eine Menge von Unschuldigen. That8217s effektiv, was es ist. Selbst wenn Sie 8220feel8221 wie niemand liebt Sie oder Sorgen über Sie, sind Sie höchstwahrscheinlich loved8211and auf jeden Fall liebenswert und würdig der Liebe. 3. There8217s keine Garantie, dass Töten sich verbessert Dinge In einer tragisch komischen Weise war das eine deprimierende Verwirklichung, wenn ich erwäge, meinen Kopf weg zu schlagen oder zu überlaufen. Verdammung Keine Garantie. Tod und Steuern, ja, aber nicht ein luftiges Leben nach dem Tod. Die 8220afterlife8221 könnte 1.000x schlimmer sein als das Leben, auch am schlimmsten. Niemand weiß. Ich persönlich glaube, dass das Bewusstsein nach dem physischen Tod besteht, und es dämmerte auf mich, dass ich buchstäblich hatte Null Beweise, dass mein Tod würde die Dinge zu verbessern. It8217s eine schreckliche Wette. Zumindest hier, in diesem Leben, kennen wir Variablen, die wir verändern und verändern können. Die unbekannte Leere könnte Dante8217s Inferno oder viel schlimmer sein. Wenn wir nur die Schmerzen zu stoppen, 8221 es einfach, dies zu vergessen. Sie wissen einfach, was8217s hinter Tür 3. In unserer Verzweiflung, wir oft nur don8217t denke es durch. Es ist wie der Mord-Selbstmord-Witz von einem meiner Lieblings-Comics, Demetri Martin: 8220Jemand, der einen Mord-Selbstmord begeht ist wahrscheinlich jemand, der nicht durch das Jenseits denken. Bam Du bist tot. Bam ich tot. Oh shit 8230 das wird für immer unangenehm.8221 4. Tipps von Freunden, im Zusammenhang mit 2 oben. Für einige meiner Freunde (alle hohen Leistungsträger, für diejenigen, die fragen), ein 8220non-Selbstmord vow8221 ist, was machte den Unterschied. Hier ist ein Freund8217s Beschreibung: 8220It nur von Bedeutung, wenn ich ein Gelübde an die eine Person in meinem Leben Ich wusste, würde ich nie brechen sie zu einem Geschwister. It8217s leistungsfähig, wenn Sie das tun. Ganz plötzlich, diese Option, die ich manchmal spielte in meinem Kopf, war es aus dem Tisch. Ich würde niemals ein Gelübde an mein Bruder brechen. Nach dem Gelübde und seiner Annahme mußte sich das Leben auf eine andere Weise nähern. Es gibt keine Fantasie escape Luke. I8217m drin. Am Ende ist ein Gelübde für ihn das größte Geschenk, das ich mir hätte geben können.8221 So albern es klingen mag, ist es manchmal einfacher, sich darauf zu konzentrieren, dein Wort zu halten und jemanden zu verletzen, als dein eigenes Leben zu bewahren. Und das ist ok. Verwenden Sie, was zuerst funktioniert, und Sie können den Rest später reparieren. Wenn Sie ein Gelübde aus Verlegenheit verbergen müssen (8220Wie würde ich gestehen, dass zu einem Freund8221), finden Sie einen kämpfenden Freund, um eine gegenseitige 8220non-Selbstmord vow8221 mit machen. Machen Sie es scheinen, wie Sie8217re nur versuchen, ihn oder sie zu schützen. Noch zu viel Machen Sie es ein 8220mutual non-self-hurt8221 Gelübde mit einem Freund, der sich schlägt. Machen Sie es über ihn oder sie so viel wie Sie. Wenn Sie sich um sich selbst kümmern, machen Sie es über andere Menschen. Machen Sie ein Versprechen können Sie brechen, oder zumindest erkennen: Töten Sie selbst zerstören andere people8217s Leben. PRAKTISCHE GREMLIN-VERTEIDIGUNG Nun, let8217s sprechen von Tag zu Tag Taktik. Die Tatsache der Angelegenheit ist diese: wenn Sie getrieben, ein Unternehmer, eine Typ-A Persönlichkeit oder hundert andere Dinge sind Stimmungsschwankungen Teil Ihrer genetischen Festverdrahtung. Es ist ein Segen und ein Fluch. Unten sind eine Reihe von Gewohnheiten und Routinen, die mir helfen. Sie mögen scheinbar einfach sein, aber sie halten mich davon ab, zu weit weg von den Spuren zu sorgen. Sie sind meine Abwehr gegen den Abgrund. Sie könnten Ihnen helfen, Ihre eigenen zu finden, oder verwenden Sie sie als Ausgangspunkt. Die meisten Superhelden sind nicht dergleichen. Theyre seltsame, neurotische Kreaturen, die große Dinge tun, DESPITE viele Selbst-besiegen-Gewohnheiten und Selbst-sprechen. Hier sind einige meiner Bewältigungsmechanismen für die Herstellung durch den Tag: 1) Wake up mindestens 1 Stunde, bevor Sie auf einem Computer-Bildschirm sein müssen. E-Mail ist der Mind Killer. 2) Machen Sie eine Tasse Tee (Ich mag pu-erh wie diese) und setzen Sie sich mit einem Bleistift und Papier. 3) Notieren Sie die 3-5 Dinge und nicht mehr, die Sie am meisten ängstlich oder unangenehm sind. Sie sind oft Dinge, die von einer Tage-To-do-Liste zum nächsten, zum nächsten, zum nächsten, und so weiter gepunzt worden sind. Am wichtigsten sind meist die meisten unbequem, mit einiger Wahrscheinlichkeit der Ablehnung oder Konflikt. 4) Für jedes Element, fragen Sie sich: Wenn dies das einzige, was ich heute vollbracht habe, würde ich mit meinem Tag zufrieden sein Wird dieses Vorwärtsbewegen machen alle anderen to-dos unwichtig oder einfacher zu klopfen später 5) Schauen Sie nur auf die Artikel, die Sie mit Ja beantwortet haben, für mindestens eine dieser Fragen. 6) Blockieren Sie bei 2-3 Stunden zu konzentrieren auf eine von ihnen für heute. Lassen Sie den Rest der dringenden, aber weniger wichtigen Zeug rutschen. Es wird noch morgen da sein. 7) ZU SEIN KLAR: Blockieren Sie an 2-3 STUNDEN, um sich auf EINS von ihnen für heute zu konzentrieren. Das ist EIN BLOCK DER ZEIT. Cobbling zusammen 10 Minuten hier und da bis zu 120 Minuten nicht funktioniert. 8) Wenn Sie abgelenkt oder starten Sie Zaudern, nicht ausflippen und abwärts Spirale nur sanft wieder zu Ihrem ONE to-do. 9) Körperlich MOVE für mindestens 20 Minuten pro Tag. Gehen Sie für einen langen Spaziergang, Gewichte heben, nehmen Sie eine kostenlose Online-Yoga-Kurs (YouTube), alles. Idealerweise nach draußen. Ich wurde einmal von Freund für Beratung über die Überwindung von schwächenden Stress gefragt. Die Antwort, die ich immer wieder wiederholte, war: 8220Denken Sie daran, täglich zu üben. Das ist 80 der Schlacht.8221 10) Folgen Sie einer Diät, die wilde Blutzuckerausschläge verhindert. Dies bedeutet Vermeidung von Getreide und raffinierte Kohlenhydrate die meiste Zeit. Ich folge der langsamen Carb-Diät mit einem Cheat-Tag pro Woche und das schon seit 10 Jahren. Paleo funktioniert auch super. Don8217t vergessen, viel Fett zu essen. Hohe Protein-und Low-Fett kann Ihnen Low-Grade-Symptome von Kaninchen Verhungern. 11) Planen Sie mindestens ein Gruppen-Dinner mit Freunden pro Woche. Holen Sie es auf dem Kalender nicht später als 5pm am Montag. Ideal, um mindestens drei Menschen haben, aber zwei ist immer noch große Medizin. 12) Nehmen Sie eine Minute jeden Tag, um anzurufen oder per E-Mail jemand zum Ausdruck bringen Dankbarkeit von irgendeiner Art. Betrachten Sie jemanden, mit dem Sie in einer langen Zeit gesprochen haben. Es kann ein einzeiliger Text oder eine 5-Sekunden-Voicemail sein. Herzlichen Glückwunsch That8217s it. Das sind die Regeln, die ich benutze, und sie helfen, das Schiff in die richtige Richtung zu lenken. Routinen sind die einzige Art, wie ich 8220successful8221 trotz meines nie enden wollenden Impulses zu zögern, schlüpfen, nippen und sonst verbrennen meine Tage mit Bullshit fühlen kann. Wenn ich 10 8220important8221 Dinge in einem Tag zu tun habe, fühle ich mich überwältigt, und seine 100 sicher nichts wichtiges wird an diesem Tag getan. Auf der anderen Seite, kann ich in der Regel behandeln 1 must-do-Element und blockieren Sie meine kleinere Verhaltensweisen für 2-3 Stunden pro Tag. Und wenn trotz Ihrer besten Anstrengungen fühlen Sie sich wie Sie verlieren am Spiel des Lebens, nie vergessen: Auch die Besten der Besten fühlen diese Weise manchmal. Wenn Im in der Grube der Verzweiflung mit neuen Buchprojekten, erinnere ich mich, was ikonischen Schriftsteller Kurt Vonnegut über seinen Prozess sagte: Wenn ich schreibe, fühle ich mich wie ein armloser, legless Mann mit einem Zeichenstift in seinem Mund. Dont überschätzen die Welt und unterschätzen Sie sich. Du bist besser als du denkst. WRAP-up dieser LONG-ASS POST Mein 8220perfect storm8221 war nichts dauerhaft. Wenn wir die Stürme passieren lassen und wählen, um zu reflektieren, kommen wir besser als je zuvor. Am Ende, unabhängig von den fucked up Acts der anderen, müssen wir in uns selbst zu erreichen und zu wachsen. Es ist unsere Verantwortung für uns selbst und nur für diejenigen, die uns lieben und umgeben. Sie haben Geschenke, um mit der Welt zu teilen. Du bist nicht allein. Sie sind nicht fehlerhaft. Und wenn die Dunkelheit kommt, wenn ihr gegen die Dämonen kämpft, denkt nur daran: Ich bin gleich da und kämpfe mit euch. Die Juwelen, die ich gefunden habe, wurden im Kampf geschmiedet. Gib niemals auf. P. S. Wenn Sie Tipps haben, die Ihnen geholfen haben, zu überwinden oder zu verwalten Depressionen, bitte teilen in den Kommentaren. Ich würde gerne für diesen Beitrag zu einer wachsenden Ressource für die Menschen. Ich werde auch mein Bestes tun, um es im Laufe der Zeit zu verbessern. Vielen Dank. Wenn Sie gelegentlich wie ich kämpfen, könnten diese Ressourcen, Videos und Artikel helfen Ihnen zu erholen. Ich sehe das Video von Nick Vujicic ziemlich oft, ebenso wie eine Erinnerung daran, wie glücklich ich bin: Die National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 8211 1 (800) 273-8255 (Website und Live-Chat hier). It8217s verfügbar 24 Stunden am Tag, 7 Tage die Woche, sowohl in Englisch und Spanisch. Außerhalb der USA Bitte klicken Sie hier für eine Liste der internationalen Hotlines. Mein aktuelles Interview mit Derek Halpern 8211 Der Kern des Gesprächs ist, wie man den Kampf und die oben genannten Selbstmord-bezogene Geschichte zu überwinden, aber es umfasst auch Business-Strategien und andere Lehren gelernt. Meine Entschuldigung für die seltsame Lippenschmetterling, die eine nervöse Tic ist. Ich dachte, I8217d feste es, aber diese Geschichten brachten es zurück :) 15-Minuten-Audio von Tony Robbins 8211 Ich bat Tony für seine Gedanken über Selbstmord. Er antwortete mit einem sehr aufschlussreichen Audio-Clip, aufgenommen in der Luft. Es deckt viel, und die urkomische Anekdote über die roh-essende Mutter am Ende allein macht es lohnt sich zu hören. HINWEIS: Natürlich, NIEMALS aufhören, Anti-Beruhigungsmittel oder jede Medizin ohne ärztliche Aufsicht aufzuhören. Das ist nicht das, was Tony empfiehlt. Http://www. files. wordpress201505tonyrobbinssuicideaudio. m4a Hören Sie in den Player oben, oder klicken Sie mit der rechten Maustaste und wählen 8220save as.8221 Zwei Wurzel-Ursachen meiner aktuellen Depression 8211 Dieser Artikel ist von Brad Feld, einer meiner Lieblings-Start-up-Investoren und Ein Weltklasse-Unternehmer in seinem eigenen Recht. It8217s gerade mehr Beweis, dass you8217re nicht allein. Selbst die besten da draußen fühlen sich hoffnungslos manchmal. Es kann geschlagen werden. Radikale Akzeptanz von Tara Brach. Dieses Buch ist nicht annähernd so woo-woo, wie es scheinen mag. Es wurde mir von einem neurowissenschaftlichen PhD empfohlen, der sagte, dass es ihr Leben verändert hat, dann von einem anderen zynischen Freund, der das gleiche sagte. Es ist eines der nützlichsten Bücher, die ich in den letzten zwei Jahren gelesen habe. Es ist leicht zu verdauen, und ich schlage vor, ein kurzes Kapitel vor dem Schlafengehen jede Nacht. Für diejenigen von uns, die uns selbst schlagen, ist es ein Götterhort. Posted on: May 6, 2015. Share this: Bitte schauen Sie sich Tools von Titans. Mein neues Buch, das die Taktik, Routinen und Gewohnheiten von Milliardären, Ikonen und Weltklasse-Darsteller teilt. Es wurde aus mehr als 10.000 Seiten von Noten destilliert, und alles wurde in meinem eigenen Leben in irgendeiner Weise geprüft und getestet. Die Tipps und Tricks in Tools of Titans veränderten mein Leben, und ich hoffe, dasselbe für Sie. Klicken Sie hier für Beispiel-Kapitel, vollständige Details und ein Vorwort von Arnold Schwarzenegger Post navigation Lassen Sie eine Antwort Antworten abbrechen Comment Regeln: Denken Sie daran, was Fonzie war wie Cool. Das war, wie wurden gonna cool. Critical ist gut, aber wenn youre unhöflich, gut löschen Sie Ihre Bestellung. Bitte geben Sie nicht Ihre URL in den Kommentartext ein und verwenden Sie Ihren PERSÖNLICHEN Namen oder Ihre Initialen und nicht Ihren Firmennamen. Da diese sich wie Spam ablöst. Viel Spaß und danke für das Gespräch (Danke an Brian Oberkirch für die Inspiration) 1.073 Kommentare zu ldquo Einige praktische Gedanken über Suicide rdquo Vielen Dank für die Buchung dieses. Das ist wichtig. Gut gesagt und fristgerecht gegebener Geistesgesundheits-Bewusstseinsmonat. Emotionale Intelligenz noch eine unterentwickelte und unterbewertete Fähigkeit. Können Affective Computing und Emotion Analytics bieten neue Einblicke in Gesundheit und Wellness Tim, vlab Hosting ein Affective Computing Panel Diskussion stanford am 21. Mai. Wir würden uns freuen, Sie dabei zu unterstützen. Bitte erreichen Sie uns. Moderator: entfernt Woaw, habe ich nie gelesen, etwas Ähnliches über Selbstmord. Für mich war professionelle Hilfe unglaublich effektiv und nützlich, vor allem, wenn viele meiner dauerhaften, chronischen Symptome waren schwere Müdigkeit, dass ich konnte sehr wenig tun. Das Sprechen mit jemandem objektiv, regelmäßig über all das, was all meine Ängste und schmerzhaften emotionalen Reaktionen hervorrief, lässt mich wirklich in eine gesündere Weise auf viele Dinge reagieren, die mich früher in Verzweiflung oder Wut werfen oder mich hilflos machen. Darüber hinaus, auch wenn Sie wissen, viele Ihrer Symptome8217 Quellen, die isn8217t immer genug, um an ihnen vorbei, und Medikamente können wirklich helfen, für eine Menge Dinge. Medikamente eine Rolle, die ich denke, die meisten Menschen don8217t ganz verstehen, oder haben die Erfahrung, um eine gute Schlussfolgerung darüber, wie sie zu benutzen. Zuerst dauert es eine Weile, um zu arbeiten, und die erste Woche wird saugen. Zweitens, wenn Sie haven8217t herausgefunden, was war die Ursache aller Probleme noch erste, es won8217t viel für Sie tun. Medikation lässt Sie anfangen, die Quellen Ihrer Probleme zu regeln, indem Sie die Antwort zu ihnen erträglicher bilden. Es ist, dass ein bisschen Schutz und zusätzliche Motivation, die Sie brauchen, um aus Gefühl hilflos gehen, um in der Lage, kleine Dinge wieder ohne Gefühl überwältigt zu bekommen. Don8217t Angst vor der professionellen Hilfe nur, weil das, was Sie in jeder Medien gesehen, keine davon kommt sogar in der Nähe der Wirklichkeit, und Medikamente können wirklich helfen, zusätzlich zur Therapie. Finden Sie jemanden um Ihr eigenes Alter, und fangen Sie einfach an, durch zu arbeiten, was you8217re bequem mit. Vielen Dank für den Hinweis, dass professionelle Hilfe ist unglaublich effektiv. Ich hatte auch eine schwere Müdigkeit, eine Anzahl von Endungen über 2 Jahre (Scheidung, zweimaliges Umziehen, ein Zuhause von vielen Jahren, leere Nester, Trennung mit neuem Freund) und lebte allein zum ersten Mal in meinem Leben im Alter von 55 Jahren War erschöpft und aufgrund der Müdigkeit bewegte ich mich von negativen inneren Gedanken (die ich ziemlich gut in der Umwandlung als ein sehr selbstbewusstes Leben Coach) zu einer Unfähigkeit zu 8216think8217 mein Weg aus ihm heraus. In Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman spricht über die physiologische Antwort auf langfristigen Stress (S. 226). My physiology had definitely changed due to the fatigue and I needed medication and rest to support my recovery. My 3 keys for shifting out of this depression: 1) While I desperately wanted to die, doing that to my children made it out of the question. 2) Surrendering complete control to God. I remember sitting on the couch one evening, crying and I prayed 8220God I don8217t know what else to do to make myself well. Please help me.8221 I felt an immediate shift that started me on a long path to healing. 3) Seeking help of a therapist and Psychiatrist (for the medication). 4) Patience that it will take time to feel 100 again. I worked with a good old fashioned psychotherapist. I would have liked more of a coaching approach but she gave me a structure and someone to talk to. I started with 3 times a week and took about a year. I also saw a Psychiatrist for the meds. Even when I am severely depressed I am so much more functional than 99 percent of people. I continue to take a low dose of Zoloft since depression runs in my family and while this was the worst time for me I had a number of bouts in the past. Mike Williams mdash The point about professional health is true, but exercise caution. A talented professional can help you like no one else, and offers someone you can talk to with with total confidence in your privacy. Medication can give you the room you need to work through your problems 8211 it won8217t (shouldn8217t) disable your emotions, but it should give you space to cope with them properly. A less talented professional, however, can mis-medicate you and worsen problems or create new ones. If they8217re tied to an institution (military or college especially) then their confidentiality rules may not protect you from consequences like required leave or a glass ceiling. They may also have a huge number of patients to deal with, and use medication as a first line of defense because it8217s fastest. Seeking professional help is worthwhile, but deserves caution. Be careful with institutional psychiatrists and check out the rules they operate under. Be careful with people who recommend medication first, or without hearing details. Don8217t give up though, just move on. It really is worth it. Thank you for writing about this, Tim. I would also second that exercisemoving around each day helps tremendously. It is very difficult to talk about these feelings with anyone, but reaching out to a close friend helped me a lot. Your friends are there for you when you need them 8211 trust them. Not really sure I want to share this, in case people who know me end up finding this but8230 One 8220tactic8221 I came up with a long time ago, when things were bad, was to promise myself that if I EVER start seriously thinking about ending myself, and actually make the decision, as you said, I will do one thing first: Sell everything I own and travel the world for as long as I can with the money. And if I still feel like doing it, only then do I have the permission to proceed. Not sure if this makes sense to others, but for me it does8230 Sami, I quit my job and started a regimen of heavy travel (but haven8217t sold everything off yet) in 2008 in an effort to find a reason to live and have enjoyed the time greatly at least most of the time anyway. There8217s so much I can8217t imagine never having done and new friends I8217d have never met had I just ended things when I8217d initially wanted to. That being said, I8217m not completely certain of what the final outcome will be, but I8217ve had a nice time trying to figure it out. I8217ve had a vow with a friend where we8217ve promised to call each other when the time might come that we cannot carry on any longer and I8217ve definitely got the 8220what8217s behind door number three8221 paranoia that we don8217t know what awaits us on the other side, so there are definitely a lot of milestones that have to happen before I find myself tied to a millstone and dropped into the sea. I hold in my mind the haunting words of a survivor who8217d jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge who8217d said that he knew he8217d made a mistake the moment he let go and is now happy as he can be, even now that he8217s in worse physical shape than before he jumped. I believe they said that of those who survived the jump, most all had never attempted it again in the 2006 documentary, 8220The Bridge.8221 I still struggle every day but know that each day is closer to my ultimate and natural end anyway and am trying to be as grateful as I can and make the world a better place for those I love. Had very such thought as you. Just what I have told myself I actually made a deal with God. I told him (in my mind): if you can give me an idea to find a way out of this situation I gonna do my best, live the fullest I can, if not than just take me away not to torture myself. I have got an answer and so far so good P. s. I even started to believe in God as before I had no faith at all Mike Williams mdash This is very much worth posting here. Tim talks about making 8220vows8221 8211 I made one to myself. I8217m not sure why I know I8217ll keep it, but I do. It sounds like you did the same thing, and I8217m glad it helped. My rules: 1. No permanent choices on the spur of the moment 8211 if I don8217t want it for a week straight, I don8217t want to do it. 2. Nothing during the bad times late at night 8211 I have to go stand out in nature, with the sun shining, and still want to do it. 3. Tell someone 8211 I have to call someone close to me and explain my choice to them, and let them answer me. If I8217m willing to have them hear about the aftermath, I should have the courage to tell them myself. Across those three things, I know I won8217t end my life. It doesn8217t fix the problems, it doesn8217t make my life any better, but I know I8217ll stay here keep trying. When I was a kid, I thought suicide was the dumbest thing ever. I had the exact same idea, if I was going to end myself, why not just buy a ticket to visit the world until I run out of money and then end it. At least get some crazy enjoyment before it8217s all over. When I did get that depressed, I had absolutely 0 motivation to travel or do anything. Why would I go through all that work before ending myself, it would just prolong the pain and annoyance. There really was no more joy to be found in life. It makes total sense but that8217s not how depression works, at least not for me. Without realizing that, suicide seems like one of the dumbest ideas in the world. Can you write a follow up article about how to get over close friends8217 suicides Also have you considered repressed same sex feelings as a driving force for much of the self-loathing in male society Scott Peterson mdash Agreed My brother (we have been estranged for 10 years) killed himself 2 weeks ago and even though we rarely saw each other or spoke (his choice not mine) I find I am surprisingly devastated as well as thinking about all the things I could have tried to do to repair our relationship. I had no idea he was that desperate. Not only that neither did my sister nor apparently any of his friends. When we went to his house to go through his belongings we found 2 copies of the same book on suicide with newspaper articles going back over 20 years. Apparently he had been considering this for a long time and nobody even knew. I always held out hope that we would reconcile and have the relationship I always wanted to have with my only brother, but that will never happen now. I find that I miss him and the idea of a relationship with him greatly. It will take time to heal. All of your feelings are normal. AFSP. org has some great support groups and resources tohelp you through this difficult time. My thoughts are with you. Scott 8211 I lost a friend a few weeks ago to suicide. I feel so guilty that we had fallen off in the friendship. She did reach out to me a while back but I was busy dealing with my own life stresses and didn8217t meet with her. I went to her memorial service, wrote a tribute to her, but it stings. I suspect it will for a long time. I8217m friends with her mom and sister so I8217ll stay in touch with them. Like your brother, she had been estranged from her family for three years. I think that8217s why I didn8217t meet with her. I couldn8217t understand abandoning your family. Poor Tracy. I hate thinking of her final moments8230 Hi Scott, I have spent decades thinking about this kind of thing, since 30 years ago after my failed attempt. I needed to understand myself and explain to others. One of the best things I8217ve read is 8216night, mother a playmovie that is on YouTube now, which is a fictionalized conversation between mother and daughter as one prepares to kill herself. Second, I think its important to realize that suicidal people don8217t want to be stopped. Or travel the world, or explain themselves, or keep trying. That is the irony of suicide (or divorce), that people seem less depressed when they start to consider suicide because it offers a sense of hope. I think almost anyone can understand when someone is taken off life support, or wants to quit chemotherapy or in some other fashion does not want to fight a painful illness. If you can accept suicide there, why not elsewhere Look, I don8217t know what happened with your brother, but its deeply narcissistic to think he should have lived for you, or that you could have made his life worth living for himself. I8217m deeply sorry if someone is scarred by a close relative choosing suicide or estrangement or eating meat, but that8217s all it is, a personal choice. It is not a judgment on you, on your happiness, on your ability to befriend others. I can8217t speak to the second question (though there is quite a bit of evidence that identification in general that conflicts with societal norms is a driving factor in suicide, at least among adolescents), nor can I speak for Tim on either, but I can share my own thoughts on the first question. Time is the big key to moving on. I don8217t say 8220get over,8221 because you never really get over it. Instead, you move on from it and things eventually get easier. Allow yourself to grieve in the meantime, but don8217t beat yourself up over 8220what-ifs.8221 Could you have saved them if only8230 Maybe, maybe not. The decision was ultimately theirs to make, and without them around, all the what-ifs are just speculation. Don8217t let survivor8217s guilt be the end of you, too. If it helps you, then resolve to make improvements in your own life. Make more time for your friends and significant other. Listen to them when they want to talk, even if you8217re not interested in what they want to talk about. Be there for them when they need it. Realize that work (or school) isn8217t the most important thing in the world. It may be too late for that one friend, but it8217s not too late for the others in your life, or yourself. Also, if you suffer from suicidal thoughts or any mental illness, consider speaking out about your experiences and how you get through them. Sometimes, knowing that you8217re not alone in your feelings of despair, by reading the accounts of other people, is enough to pull someone back from the pit of darkness that is a depressive episode and suicide. Talking about it also helps to remove the stigma surrounding mental illness, so that people will (hopefully) no longer feel ashamed to reach out for help. This article is 100 important knowledge, 100 insights and 100 bravery amp being human. That8217s 300, Tim. We owe you a lot for the quality you represent. Vielen Dank. I don8217t know if this was an intention as well, but this post is an important voice in the general discussion about how the society more often than not 8220deals8221 with young people. As the opposite of 8220raising8221 young people. One of the latest research of PhD Philip Zimbardo shows that there is more than a million 8220sad8221 children in Poland, Europe (where I live). For a 40 million people country, that8217s A LOT. There8217s evidence that other countries face similar stats as well. I was personally blessed with supporting parents who helped me through any situation I had (for example, teachers mocking my first 8220professional8221 blog that I started with my friend so we both could learn some real-life journalist skills) but that8217s not possible for everybody. Since high school I became deeply interested in the psychology of why people do things, why they stop doing them and how to create an environment that enforces positive loops of feedback and motivation. Why and when people feel safe and secure and ready to grow. And the funny thing is: it8217s not that hard. It really requires basic levels of empathy, listening to each other and some other old-fashioned words that8211 honestly I8217m amazed how many folks older then me (I8217m in my mid 20s) forgot. And we still think that they were the last generation that supported them. Nope. Or at least not so often and not anymore. I8217m on a different continent than you guys, but I 100 support Arnold Schwarzenegger8217s mission of providing children and young adults with not money, not any means of 8220guarding8221 them but something way, way simpler: attention. Attention, even if forced, creates interest. Interest allows us to see a human being in that other person, be it a student or a teacher. And seing a human being is just an inch away from genuine empathy. And an empathy 8211 both psychologically and biologically speaking 8211 is a real-life magic. Not joking here. It changes the way our brains work, again: both metaphorically and literally speaking. Wow, sorry for the long post. I believe in a world where everybody can make it, so once again: thanks for writing about such an important issue and take care Rulespromises can work in my experience too. And not only to living people. I made a vow not to kill myself (and to never use drugs) at the age of 12 when my mom died 8211 to her8230 It was very powerful somehow. Haven8217t gone even near, but have been feeling down for quite some time (now doing therapy 8211 for me it works great, it8217s hard, but so worth it 8211 to decide to go took me years 8211 a bike accident helped 8211 I got lucky and just got bruises, but being unconscious for 2 hours and waking up in a hospital got me thinking8230). I have this talk on my phone: I could relate so much, watched it every day if I needed it, just so powerful and somehow made me feel not alone with this (it8217s extremly hard to admit that you are depressed, it does have a huge social stigma8230like Kevin says in the video). Great talk, Anna, thank you for the link. His comments about the stigma around mental illness, and how it isn8217t an identity, are almost verbatim things that I8217ve found myself saying in the last six months while working through some serious stuff in my own head. Also, I8217ve found watching TED Talks in general to be incredibly therapeutic. This one was my lifeline for a while: tedtalksalbertocairotherearenoscrapsofmenlanguageen Thank you for an excellent, honest amp insightful post Tim. Its all to easy to lose sight of the the fact that success is the ability to deal with difficulties rather than the absence of difficulties. Loved it all, very real. I can recommend time in nature and the unconditional love of an animal. Thanks for writing this. It8217s wonderful when people (and especially prominent people) are open about their problems 8211 it makes people feel less alone. (I know it must have been a very hard one to write, but as a reader it comes across as a natural, honest and necessary thing to do). I don8217t claim to have full-blown depression myself, and I can8217t begin to imagine what that8217s like. I do sporadically have some lengthy, pretty unpleasant stays in its foothills, however. Your rules are a great idea 8211 may I share a couple of thoughts I don8217t know if these will help anyone but me (please someone tell me if they8217re detrimental and I8217ll take them down). Getting outside, exercise and connecting with people (and particularly helping them out in some way 8211 even if it8217s just buying them a coffee) are key things for me. But they8217re easier said than done when you need to do them most 8211 even getting out of bedinto the showerout of the house can seem impossible. For that reason, I try to have a 8216battle plan8217 when I feel symptoms coming on. Something pre-set that8217s a go-to when all I want to do is stay in bed. I tidy up, make sure I have food, and physically write down all the little steps required to go out to the park, for instance. (Things as trivial as 8216get shoes on8217, etc.) It sounds silly, but it8217s hard to make even little decisions when you don8217t feel good. I also try to change the activities in some way 8211 for some unknown reason, getting into the shower is hard for me when I don8217t feel good (I love showers). So I try to put on some banging tunes to entice me in, etc. (As I say, I don8217t have full depression, so I don8217t know if a list of steps like mine would be too overwhelming for someone who does. Anyone know) Talking about it is also useful. It can make you feel better and makes people aware of your problems (they8217ll often keep an eye out for you). You8217ll frequently find out that seemingly 8216sorted8217 people have similar problems, too. And in that case it8217s a win-win: disclosure can help them in turn. I8217m also thinking about writing about my episodes after they8217ve gone. I wonder if it could help to have messages from the past to tell you that things always get better. Sorry for the rambling comments. Thanks, Jon Thank you Tim. As someone with a history of self-harm and depression who is in the middle of a stressful (70h per week, break-up etc) period, these kind of posts are a bright candle in the dark. What helped for me were the following words(which you called out in this post), which echo through my head almost every day: 8216This too shall pass8217. If you just consider the things that are happening now, the things that give you stress and sadness, remember to change the timescale in your head. Messed up a presentation People will have forgotten in a few weeks. Girlfriend broke up with you Remember how you are not troubled by feelings for previous exes anymore Will also happen now. The list goes on. Change the timescale to longer times, and you will see that problems all fade. Thus, we best stop worrying about them straight away, because ultimately, we and everyone will. Good luck to you all. Brother killed himself followed by my best friend nine months later. I had attempted suicide before too. We all vowed not to. I8217m glad I survived though. I8217ve made immense progress of which I8217m genuinely proud. Part of survival for me was turning a depraved selfishness into a healthy selfishness. I like these more 8220spiritual posts8221, they8217re much more valuable than your other stuff. I8217d love to see you apply your techniques to hacking happiness, compassion, and general morality in the future. What more important skills could there be Profound thanks for this courageous and powerful piece of writing Tim. I8217ve devoured your work for years but you have just helped me more in the last five minutes than all of your other stuff put together. Which is a huge compliment btw given how much I have learned from you over years. Deep thank yous and appreciation for the balls it took to write that. Andrew Thanks for this post Tim. My sister recently went through a severe depression because she wanted to meet all these stupid things society defines as 8216success8217. In the end when things were bad we sent her to a health retreat where she learned how to cope with stress, she exercised every day and ate healthy foods. After a month she was so much better and she had the tools to cope with stress so she didn8217t fall back into depression. These days doctors prescribe drugs without solving the root cause which is anxiety, isolation, no goals and lack of serotonin ( from a bad diet and no exercise.) I wish the government would wake up and create a program people can follow which will equip them with a skill set of how to cope with life. Without a doubt this would reduce the level of obesity, homelessness, and lost productivity. Thanks again for speaking about it. Hope you come to Sydney for an event in the future - would love the chance to meet you and hear you speak. Well said Wayne..and further to my comment above, it8217s even more big ballsy to post it in the middle of the TFE media frenzy. You have changed many people8217s lives today, saved their lives actually. The more real and exposed you go, the more people love and respect you because they feel your truthfulness. Big respect from the UK. Andrew Thanks for posting this Tim. I8217ve been in that same dark place (I think most people have). When you are there it feels you are the only one, or that something is wrong with you for feeling that way (just be happy), but the truth is it8217s so freaking common. It8217s just below the surface for most people. That8217s why I try to be super honest about this 8211 talking about it on interviews as well, because it8217s so easy to see such a contrast between the depressed self and someone who is conventionally successfully, until it is revealed that the 8220successful8221 person was in the same boat a few years prior. It8217s all about getting through it and coming out stronger. I8217ve developed some unique skills that I attribute 100 to being deeply depressed for many years. There are even stories about how Lincoln was as well, and that8217s why he was such a compassionate and great leader. As for tips, I think the best ones are extremely simple yet the most important: 1) Take care of your health at all costs 8211 this alone dramatically influences mood 2) Prioritize establishing genuine deep connections with people. Most people who are depressed have lost sight of how this is more important than thesis papers, RMR, ROI, or just about anything else. 3) Nowadays the ONLY time I EVER start to feel depressed is when I lose my purpose, and this is true despite having a major genetic predisposition towards depression. Having a purpose, a passionate project, a reason to move forward and kickass is the best antidepressant beyond exercise and red wine with friends. Once you get 1, 2 and 38230life tends to be pretty damn balanced and happy (most days at least) My take on things anyway 8211 Grant I started blogging about my depression last year as I was having quite a stressful year and the suicidal thoughts were returning8230I8217ve been dealing with depression for 30 years since puberty and also only recently started being more open about it. I love the idea of making a vow to a friend 8230 I have just made a mental one to my kids, who are now the main reason why I couldn8217t go through with it. They don8217t deserve to be left to deal with the repurcussions of a mother taking her life. Noone deserves to be left dealing with someone else8217s suicide. I am also ready to break the cycle because I watched my mother attempt to take her own life many times. Time for a change. Here8217s the blogpost with a few of the things I do to help me deal 8211 my year of daily gratitude in 2014 made a HUGE difference wrt my happiness and it8217s one of the major things I would recommend also: ecstacyandennui. wordpress20140207the-big-black-dog-or-things-that-really-help I love the idea of a blog. Meds. Drugs and medication and the thing where they electrocute your brain. That8217s what kept me alive. Sometimes, like now, I8217m pissed off because it8217s never going to go away and I8217m going to live in that perfect storm forever, but it8217s been five years, and the monster still hasn8217t eaten me. So maybe that8217s enough. Oh Tim, I have been waiting for you to write this post for over half a decade This comment is less about providing tips for others than it is essentially a grateful letter of adoration for how you8217ve personally helped me overcome my own struggles with depression and suicide. When I discovered you in 2009, you were my saving grace theres really no other way to put it. I was raised in an isolated, abusive, misogynistic environment, and I spent nearly half a decade of my adult life trappedstuck in that environment, completely housebound and actually agoraphobic. In no small part due to your books, content, speaking events, and stories, I slowly gained everything I needed to free myself from that dark place. I went from being a quiet, timid, self-doubting, scared, directionless girl, to an outspoken, assertive, confident woman who loves conquering fear and challenges (and infecting people with smiles and motivation). But, for a long time during that journey, suicide was always a very real consideration. Ive often wanted to ask you to speak to us about depression and mentalemotional health, but the taboo of it kept me from doing so. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your bravery. For what its worth, because of all of the skills Ive learned from you, I now have my own business with the daily opportunity to encourage, lift up, and educate my own followers who struggle with anxiety and depression. And Ive been able to team up with a few other women to expand our audience reach to over 50,000 awesome girls (and guys) from retired grandmothers, to young girls on the verge of starting high school and college. We are 8220planner girls8221, predominantly introverts, harnessing the power of creativity and self-expression to take control of our lives and kick ass at our goals, one day at a time. Personally, paper-planning, tracking systems, and various types of journaling have helped me tremendously through recent years in gaining the upperhand on my recurring depression. Kind of a continuation of your 3-4, except much more expanded. Anyway, youve had quite the ripple effect already, Tim, and Ive no doubt this blog post will cause even bigger, life-changing (and saving) waves. Much love, A now-outspoken fellow Type-A, language-loving, eternally-curious nerd. Thanks for paving the way. Tim, thank you for your sincere post It takes real courage to be such true to others. I want to share this Tony Robbins8217 intervention video from my Robbins-Madanes coach training program. This particular case is about multi-millionaire guy who lost every cent and wanted to commit suicide: youtu. beU8NtVR2dA It can help to understand Tony8217s audio better and in details. Personally I have 8220non-suicide vow8221. In hard times I remember Bono8217s words about his close friend who killed himself: 8220if he had waited for 30 minutes more he would have calmed down and changed his mind8221. So I meditate in my perfect storms, it helps. I hope I8217ve helped somebody somehow. Beautiful post Tim I8217m sure this will help many. Something else that could help fight depression and increase general happiness is something simple as coloring, painting, sculpting (anything creative that involves using your hands). I8217ve noticed with my group (we sketch as a group on a regular basis) how happy and relax they are (they tell me too) when we sketch together. It8217s been shown to help with depression and anxiety. as always, thank you so much for your candidness and transparency tim. it8217s hard to imagine that some may have never felt the urge to not be part of this world at some point, as depression, specially circumstantial, seems an inherent condition of simply being human. i sure have had my share of very, very, dark days 8212 and only in connecting with one another in conversation, and sharing as you did, can we help ourselves and as well as others. This is a fantastic and brave post, Tim. Thank you for sharing in such detail, with tons of advice on how to get help. I know this will save someone8217s life, I just hope it reaches them all in time. That8217s why I was compelled to make my website (will link if there8217s interest but don8217t wanna spam) that basically is a sounding board email to me for people to rant an talk to someone I they want via email. Most rewarding think I8217ve ever done. Thanks for using your ability to communicate to a large audience for such a good topic What is your website Sound advice. A couple thoughts: being isolated magnifies these thoughts ten fold. It is important to surround yourself with people who know you well. When in a downward spiral, sometimes doing something that feels good and made you happy in the past can be enough to jar you out of the funk you8217ve been in, especially if it has been ongoing for awhile. Finally, reconnecting with friends you were close with at one time can be a revealing experience. I recently reconnected with a friend I served in Afghanistan with and was surprised when he told me he had been struggling with depression. I had thought I was the only one. Learning this made me feel like my problems were more normal and manageable. Sharing this struggle with a friend whom I had endured so much adversity with in the past, made it easier to overcome. As someone who has been through perfect storm8217s and been at the ledge myself with only 1 true attempt to this day. I am in tears. As I type this this past week I8217ve been making some fairly intricate plans to end it. The thing you said about others is why I8217m still here typing this and not dead already. I8217ve thought about calling those numbers but82308230never have. It isn8217t something I talk about or share with anyone and in the past when I had shared it with someone I basically was told I was full of it and that 8220really suicidal people don8217t talk about it and they just do it8221 In fact this above phrase was repeated to me this past week as well. AY, thank you for the comment and thank you for being so vulnerable. I8217ve been there. Please call the phone in the post. I want you to stick around. Deal AY, Awesome comment. If you don8217t have it in you, you just can8217t muster the courage to call the line 1-800- 273-8255 (best choice) 8211 Call someone Call anyone or me (724-3791 in the 208 area code in the US) my name is Christopher 8211 You have shown a remarkable act of bravery and courage posting your feelings 8211 picking up the phone takes courage too but you have proven you can take a step 8211 great work Just one situation that I had convinced myself of 8211 had me so anxiety and depression ridden I was curled up in the fetal position alone in the bath tub and in the dark. Had I possessed the guts to kill myself, (which I didn8217t thank God) I was so physically debilitated, I wouldn8217t have been able. Moreover this happened over and over again (sometimes or no reason at all that I could identify and believe me I mind chattered myself to insanity trying to find out). Till I finally mustered to courage and reached out to ONE person, just one call, to one person that had offered help. And it kicked a series of events that finds me recovered today. What a relief My name is Christopher and I am just another person, just another one of us who has fallen victim to the Depression. And as result wants to help Just like Tim does every single day Oh, and if nothing else I8217m really fuckin funny. Who knows, maybe you8217ll get a laugh, levity is great medicine. I don8217t know how you feel exactly, nobody can exactly. I do know one thing FOR SURE. If you have one ounce of willing left to do something, just one miniscule ounce, which it sounds like you do, IT IS GOING TO BE OK. THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER. If you just want to tell someone what youre going through that is completely ok 8211 I want to listen. I8217m not a physician nor do I claim to have the answers 8211 quite the contrary 8211 I still need help every day. But I have found that helping others when they need it most always, and I mean always 8211 helps everyone involved. So many people did this for me and it saved me. I am so fuckin grateful today 8211 so I want you to know what my promise is to you 8211 you can call me anywhere, anytime, for any reason if you need to talk through this if you just can8217t fathom calling the hotline or a friend, or for any other reason. 724-3791 in the 208. You don8217t even have to tell me who you are just AY from Ferriss8217 circus will do. Dear AY, as you see even on this blog you8217re not alone. I know exactly where you are. Just stick even to little things everyday. Even 1 squat or push up or any exercice you like. Just 1 every day and stick to not lose contact. As Tim said, any exercise is the fastest way to improve the mood. Keep your sleep hours protected too absolutely. 9 years ago I had the final day and definitive decision to end it. As dentist I had unfortunately all materials to even end it 8220easy way8221. Was lucky my dental assistant at the time saw unusual materials ready despite the last patient was gone. Called my GF who without telling it, called me and was 8220missing me so badly that we had to meet immediately82308221 That wasn8217t the only day8230 and years after still have days when it seems as solution to at least stop things which are tortures for years and for weeks and months I don8217t find one single day that I didn8217t hate myself and felt useless8230 In worse weeks, I just try to stick even to one single little thing to not sink deeper. Just 1 exercise. Just shaving. And mostly, even if someone is in prison for 20 years and has absolutely no family and anybody who would care8230 Still there is someone inside to answer the question: Do you accept to lose Do you accept to quit What bigger than 8220life8221 to accept to lose or quit Am sure you hear the voice inside who answers No I don8217t accept to lose. No I don8217t accept to quit. And as you repeat that No I don8217t want to lose, just walk, move and shake your body. Listen to audio of voices of people who fight and started at zero. Who say simply strong ideas. (examples of Schwarzenegger or Muhammad Ali8230 or whoever you feel good with the voice, and who say it simple short and loud) For example in my worse days I avoid Tim Ferriss voice, because when you feel already shitty, Tim8217s rhythm of achievements make me feel even less than nothing. So Tim podcasts are for learning and tactics in my good days, and Schwarzenneger 82206 rules8221 for worse days. Before Foreman fight is a period where you have the best of Muhammad Ali talks. He lost it all at the time and no way to listen and stay passive to his voice of hunger to come back. When a journalist asked him how scared is he after the way young Foreman destroyed Frazer, Ali answered 8220scared8230. scared of what and again repeats 8220what8230. scared of what8221 Simple 3 words with a tonality which is contagious. You already know there are always millions in worse and millions in better situation than each one of us, so it isn8217t even the question of how many problems we have8230 We feel good when there is progress. So don8217t accept to lose in worse days and stick to 1 single movement of your body. Just your posture. And in other days, focus on the very first hour of the day. Don8217t use it in usual breakfast shower in semi conscious way. No, use those very first 60 minutes in 1 single thing that you finish, and the rest of the day you can remember as proud you did that. When we8217re vulnerable, there8217s hypersensitivity and how we start our 60 first minutes condition disproportionally the feeling of the day. And lastly for 8220problems8221 that you already know everybody have at every level: Cut the 8220wohohoo scary problem8221 in small pieces and just ask yourself which little piece you can act on. Take the smallest and easiest action, just start to act and finish just that action. Immediately you feel how actually you can, and there is any problems which deserves being scared of. It creates momentum and feel of it8217s moving forward. And in any days, ask to that voice inside, who answers No, I don8217t accept to lose. We8217re all in the same road, and you8217re not alone. We stick too in worse days, you just don8217t see worse days of others Much love. P. S. sorry for my english (am french so natural slow language learner ) I have friend who didn8217t have kidneys. Just the though of his time running out, it drove him in deep depression. He took anti-depressive drugs, but instead of being cured, he felt he was becoming dependent on it. So he scoured the web for an alternative, and he found taichi. Every morning he did taichi exercises. After a few weeks he was drug free, and he lived for 11 years without kidneys. I am exactly where you were in 1999. Right now I8217m a final year undergrad at a top world university, and after all the rejection from firms like Bain and McKinsey my self-esteem plummeted and I buckled under the stress of it all. I had to take time out and won8217t graduate until next year. I8217ve put myself in a position of total isolation and for the last week all I have thought about is my need to die. What8217s kept me hanging on is (like you say) the thought of breaking my parents hearts. This post is what I needed. To know that I8217m not alone and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you can go through this and comeback stronger and build a solid life for yourself then I know there is hope for me. It8217s time to turn things around. Thank you for sharing. Gina, thanks so much for posting this. Please hold tight. As you said, I8217ve been there. The fact is: you8217ve proven you can win at the game of life by getting to where you are. These are just hiccups. They seem like earthquakes right now, but you8217ll look back and thank God (or yourself, or the universe, or whatever) that you didn8217t do something horrible. Please give the phone number from this post a ring. Just chat with them for a few minutes. Give a fake name if needed, test 8217em out and kick the tires. There8217s no harm in it. Harming yourself would destroy your parents. Don8217t do it. Not worth it. John Elrick mdash Long time fan and follower. Never really leave comments cos I know youre usually probably overwhelmed with them But in this case I thought I would. Thanks so much for writing this. I have experienced this exact same thing and its always accompanied by guilt and a feeling of worthlessness, like failing at the mosy basic of tasks simply existing. Its great to know (in a kind of fucked up way) someone I look up to a lot has been through the same thing and has to keep it at arms length as well. Thanks again mate, keep up the great work :) My pleasure, friend, and thanks for holding on. This too shall pass Thank you for sharing this, thank you for finding the courage to write it. It8217s so majorly important to realise that each and every one of us is or can be susceptible to suicidal tendencies. No one is spared8230 The only thing that differentiate between the tendency, the thought and the action is the frame of mind8230 Something that might be considered utterly trivial by someone, it might mean the tipping point for someone else..and their frame of mind, the perspective it8217s the only difference . Unusual for me to comment on a post, but I felt the need to thank you for tackling this major issue. So, again, thank you Bit of a long post but bear with me: Two of things I really enjoy when feeling down is the philospher Alain de Botton with school of life and Zenpencils. Zenpencils does cartoons based on quotes, like this one by Stephen Fry zenpencilscomic89-stephen-fry-ultimate-self-help-book. And whilst I8217m glad you succeeded in getting over your difficult times, some of us have different problems. I really truly am glad for you because your writing, your art, is fantastic and inspiring. But I really relate to Stephen fry because he, as I, carries with him a problem that will never go away. I can get out of a depression only to have it remain on the sidelines, it never really goes away, and eventually it takes over again. So I use other emotions to control myself, I use anger extensively because it works as a driving force and if I slow down during hard times, the sorrow will swallow me, it8217s like a swamp. And I don8217t mean anger AT anything, just that rush you get inside you with anger, channeled fury. Aimed anger, at others or yourself, will hurt you. But with time one learns to deal with it, to accept it. It8217s just a part of who I am and a disability I8217ve learned to anticipate and deal with when it turns up, even if it is a struggle every time. I8217ve been depressed for as long as I can remember, it started when I started school as a child as I never really fit in. Suicide was on my mind a long time and when I was 14 I stood on our homes balcony, ready to jump. I had figured that if I grab the rail just right and flip myself before letting go I should land head first and that should get it done. But as I grabbed the rail I remembered my mother, who was going through rough times as well, and I stopped. I just couldn8217t do that to her. No matter how much I hurt, I could never hurt the ones I love. Now our family wasn8217t a perfect and happy family and circumstances had led to me having to grow up really fast. Escaping suicide didn8217t solve the issue though, it just let me live a broken life and fall into alcoholism and cycles on lighter and heavier depression. And as such I never did well in any school, I did good in math and physics and the like as I had a head for it but what does any of it matter when you8217re in that sate So I drank and did some drugs from around 18 to 22 when I finally hit a floor where I couldn8217t speak to people anymore so I stayed in my flat feeling sorry for myself, and so very embarrassed. I don8217t know of others but my sadness led me to have an extremely wide perspective. Who am I to feel so sad There are kids with leukaemia, wars happening around the world, famine, natural disasters, human trafficking, families being torn apart by disasters and all the unspeakable horrors in the world happening all the time. And my education suffered, my credit went bad as I wasn8217t paying bills but what did it matter In the grand scheme of things who am I A small insignificant boy of a man living in north european country, I can even pull of school, I couldn8217t even get into the school I wanted. I felt ashamed, lonely and barely keeping myself alive. Finally some teachers in the school I was going to, learning goldsmithing, got me to come to school and helped me get professional help. That was a gesture of kindness which made me cry when I got home, because what I so very desperately needed was help, but asking was far too terrifying in so many ways. I had a wonderful psychologist who helped me, with the help of a bit of anti-depressants as well, talk out the issues inside me. I eventually moved out of that town where I was studying back into Helsinki, the Finnish Capital, but didn8217t seek more help here. A mistake I tell you As I fell back into my hole with no way out, until after a couple of years, with the help of what I had learned from my psychologist, I aggressively fought against my mind and soul by forcing myself to talk to people. And now I8217ve got myself back into a good mindset. Winter especially brings me down into self-loathing and depression and it never really seems to go away, even after all this time. But you know what I8217m okay with it now. With age came acceptance of myself, I8217ve found good sides with my depression as it really increases my creativity. And using similar tactics to the advice above I keep on doing my best to stay happy with whatever is happening in my life. Most important of all, after my last long term relationship ended, during those years I learned to be happy being alone. If you NEED someone in order to remain happy and balanced Then maybe being alone is a lesson you still really need to learn. It8217s a very important skill to have, being able to be happy alone. I8217m now in a relationship again, it happened a bit by accident but everything is going pretty well especially because i love and appreciate her, but I don8217t NEED her in order to feel good. Demanding someone to help upkeep my sanity is actually a pretty huge demand to put on a relationship and it will never end well, trust me. Bit of a word vomit but I started and had trouble stopping, this is an important issue for me as I really want to help with problems similar to mine, or dissimilar, if I can in any way be of help. If someone you know is having a rough time, remember to offer help or even just someone to talk to. Even if the help is declined the fact that you showed interest can be a huge help. And if you8217re feeling bad, let me tell you that you8217re awesome. Of all the possible things to happen, you were born and you8217re alive here now. To achieve greatness is not a necessary goal for anyone. The greatest success for you is to find happiness. Remember the cashier you saw or the cleaning lady their jobs might or might not bring them happiness, but their lives might be full of joy. We humans are social animals, happiness comes from being helpful to others, feeling useful. Enjoy your hobby talk to people try not to judge others unless you understand their circumstances and in remember to be kind to yourself. You are all wonderful because you are capable of amazing acts of kindness. I don8217t know who you are or where you are or what your circumstances are but I wanna tell you this, you are worthy. You are worth of love and appreciation and dreaming and asking for things Here8217s a corny end but I love you, you beautiful bastard, because I know you can be happy and make others happy. Loving regards Max from Finland It8217s important that we recognise that we all have mental health in the same way as physical health and that it8217s a spectrum that we constantly move along. Just as an unexpected fall can break a bone, we see from Tim8217s post how easily an unexpected series of difficult events can lead your mind to a dark place before you have time to regroup. Notice patterns in your behaviour during both good and bad periods and if you8217re lucky enough to have support networks, trust them to highlight when you8217re beginning to spiral. When you have a negative thought about yourself or your situation, think of a friend or colleague (or even Mr Tim) and imagine yourself saying that thought directed towards them. If it feels uncomfortable or unjustified then try to realise how unfair and demanding you8217re being to yourself. Negative thoughts are like clouds, sometimes they8217re all you can see, but you still know the sky exists above. If this post triggers anything, good or bad, let8217s talk. Good man This is how it needs to be spoken of more. This is exactly the kind of thinking that helped me out of a rut years ago and helps me enjoy life more overall. I think when you put suicide in perspective you realize how easy it is to be happy and can enjoy a richer life. Good man You8217re doing great things Tim, it is fantastic to see someone grabbing life by the balls and sharing so much. Like (way too many others) this is a topic that is painfully close to home for me, too, and I wanted to thank Tim and all the amazing people commenting here for working their arses off to be part of the solution rather than the problem. I won8217t go into our personal backstory, but I would like to say that myself, my partner, and two of our three kids are now using Nutrient Therapy, and it8217s been phenomenal to manage assorted labels attached to us. It8217s worth a good hard look at (and then actually read the science yourself). Also, diet IS important. High five for eating real food. Keith Huss mdash oh just thank you. I have tears in my eyes. just got out of my therapeutist and this text is perfect timing. your problems resonate with me and i think indeed we must realize and remember we are all at this game fighting together. all making mistakes, all being weak from time to time and all in need of love and support no matter how strongly we deny it. thank you. Much love for you, Natalia. What if you have no loved ones who you could make that vow to What when you know that you are on the outer circle for everyone you know It8217s funny how people always assume that everyone has loved ones. I guess us forgotten people are not the target group of this post. Helen, It has been half a year since you posted this comment, and I really hope you are still alive and somehow reading this. I don8217t know your life. It might be true that you actually don8217t have people close to you. But depression is a cruel bitch, it makes you feel absolutely sure that no one actually cares about you and you are not important to anyone. This is, in the vast majority of the cases, not true. But well, as I said, I don8217t know your life. So I8217m here, and if you are still alive (and whether or not still contemplating suicide) let8217s make a mutual anti-suicide vow. I start. Helen, I promise you, under no circumstances will I commit suicide. Your turn. Thank you Tim, you8217re a hero. I know how difficult it is to write and share about this sort of thing, let alone with hundreds of thousands of people publicly. I hope some of the things I mention here will help some people, as it8217s taken me a long time to work this thing out. Over the years I have managed to get a better grip on depression and suicide, but this post has re-injected some 8220positivity8221, as it8217s far too easy to slip back into dark corners of the mind8230 I had a similar scenario during my undergraduate years, and spiralled into a deep and almost unshakable place of negativity (drinking myself into oblivion and taking drugs), I was close to ending it all on a handful of occasions8230 I have no idea how I managed to come out the other side with a degree but over recent years things like meditation, and philosophy (particularly Eastern) has massively changed my perspective on life, and where I once allowed myself to be trapped in my own self-esteem issues, I can now 8216return8217 to a more positive frame (that I8217ve created and nurtured over recent years) when I find myself slipping back into negative head space. I think depression often arises from a friction between the way the world is and the way you 8216want8217 it to be. Once you let go of external expectations and begin to truly value yourself (you have no reason not to 8211 you always have something to offer) you can climb out of destructive thought patterns. Certain ideas from Buddhism, such as 8220you create all of the suffering in your life8221 teaches that you always have a choice. You choose how you respond (not react) to any particular situation or environment. Once I realised this it was hugely liberating, to know that I was in control and I, at any given time, am able to shape my response to particular situations. Another part of Buddhism or meditation is simply the act of 8216acknowledging8217accepting something. You can8217t control your emotionalphysiological reaction to certain things per se, but you can acknowledge those feelings and manage them as they move through you. I am strongly against medication as a long term treatment. I feel that the majority of us have the capacity within ourselves to shift perspective. One of the biggest hurdles I went over was the acceptance that maybe depression can never truly be removed, and that simply we must learn to manage it when it arises and mitigate the damage it can potentially do, while staying strong until it passes 8211 because it does pass. There are so many other factors you can adjust to maximise your efficacy in this area. Aside from the inner healing and searching you can do through meditation and reading up on spiritual philosophies, the more practical things such as exercising (trust me 8211 swimming for me is one of the most therapeutic and grounding activities you can do 8211 it forces you to breathe in a particular way 8211 basically meditationyoga in water), as well as eating well (remove all that shit from your diet 8211 sugar, most wheatgluten, caffeine reliance etc. 8211 PLUS omega 3 fish oil, extremely good for treating anxiety etc.), as well as good sleep (your brain requires deep sleep to replenish dopaminemelatonin 8211 happiness chemicals), and human social contact. It8217s easy to slide into deep and rigid periods of isolation and this is toxic because you get more and more into your head. You need to get out of your head, spend time with friends, people, bring back your experience into simply experiencing life, rather than allowing your experience to be dominated by your own self-created problems. Sorry for the essay, hope that was helpful for someone8230 I cried through the whole thing. Thank you, Tim. Silas was right. So kind of you to share. Comment navigation Popular Podcasts Most Popular in Filling the VoidWater and Your Diet: Staying Slim and Regular With H2O Find out if youre getting enough water to keep your metabolism cranking at peak efficiency and your digestive system functioning well. From the WebMD Archives If youve ever tried to lose weight. youve probably heard a lot about water and weight loss. Can drinking more water really help you lose weight The short answer is yes -- and no. If youre already well hydrated and getting plenty of water, getting more water into your diet probably wont make a lot of difference. But if youre going through your days a little -- or a lot -- dehydrated, as many people are, getting enough water could help. In my experience, most people are not aware of how much theyre drinking and are not drinking enough -- many, as little as half of what they need, says Amanda Carlson, RD, director of performance nutrition at Athletes Performance, which trains many world-class athletes. How Water Boosts Metabolism Waters involved in every type of cellular process in your body, and when youre dehydrated, they all run less efficiently -- and that includes your metabolism. Think of it like your car: if you have enough oil and gas, it will run more efficiently. Its the same with your body. Your metabolism is basically a series of chemical reactions that take place in your body, says Trent Nessler, PT, DPT, MPT, managing director of Baptist Sports Medicine in Nashville. Staying hydrated keeps those chemical reactions moving smoothly. Being even 1 dehydrated can cause a significant drop in metabolism . Hungry or Thirsty How Water Helps a Diet Its also very difficult for the body to tell the difference between hunger and thirst. So if youre walking around feeling a gnawing sense of hunger. you might just be dehydrated. Try drinking a glass of water instead of grabbing a snack. Research has also shown that drinking a glass of water right before a meal helps you to feel more full and eat less. Many people do find that if they have water before a meal, its easier to eat more carefully, says Renee Melton, MS, RD, LD, director of nutrition for Sensei, a developer of online and mobile weight loss and nutrition programs. One study, for example, found that people who drank water before meals ate an average of 75 fewer calories at each meal. That doesnt sound like a lot -- but multiply 75 calories by 365 days a year. Even if you only drink water before dinner every day, youd consume 27,000 fewer calories over the course of the year. Thats almost an eight-pound weight loss. The Digestive Health Benefits of Water But getting enough water doesnt just help you regulate how much you eat -- it helps you digest it properly, as well. Water allows your kidneys to function properly and filter everything they need to, and allows us to eliminate effectively and not be constipated , Melton says. People who dont get enough fluids in their diet tend to be constipated . And thats not all. The single biggest cause of painful kidney stones is chronic dehydration. When you dont get enough water, calcium and other minerals build up in your urine and are harder for your body to filter out. They can form the crystals that make up kidney and urinary stones. Doctors who specialize in pediatric kidney problems report seeing more kidney stones in children in recent years, and they believe its because of a combination of factors. Many kids arent drinking enough water. Also, many kids are overweight and eat a poor diet. Ive been in this field for over 30 years, and Id say that until about the last 10 to 15 years, you almost never saw stones in kids, says Robert Weiss, MD, chief of pediatric nephrology at Maria Fareri Childrens Hospital of the Westchester Medical Center in New York. Lately, the frequency is increasing dramatically. How Much Water Do You Need How can you know if youre getting enough water to keep your metabolism cranking at peak efficiency and your digestive system functioning The formula used to be one size fits all -- eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day. But thats changed, experts say. It depends on your size and weight, and also on your activity level and where you live, Nessler says. In general, you should try to drink between half an ounce and an ounce of water for each pound you weigh, every day. For example, if you weigh 150 pounds, that would be 75 to 150 ounces of water a day. If youre living in a hot climate and exercising a lot, youd be on the higher end of that range if youre in a cooler climate and mostly sedentary, youd need less. Another quick way to check: look in the bowl after youve gone to the bathroom. If your urine is clear or very light yellow and has little odor, youre well hydrated. The darker and more aromatic your urine, the more dehydrated you are. How can you build more water consumption into your day Try these tips: Carry an insulated sports bottle with you and fill it up periodically. Keep a glass of water on your desk at work. Keep another glass next to your bed. Many of us wake up dehydrated first thing in the morning. Switch one glass of soda or cup of coffee for a glass of water. Drink small amounts of water throughout the day. Six glasses all at once isnt good for you WebMD Feature Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD on July 07, 2009 Amanda Carlson, RD, director of performance nutrition, Athletes Performance, Phoenix. Trent Nessler, PT, DPT, MPT, managing director, Baptist Sports Medicine, Nashville. Renee Melton, MS, RD, LD, director of nutrition, Sensei Inc. Boca Raton, Fla. Society of Behavioral Medicine Annual Meeting, San Diego. The Obesity Society Annual Scientific Meeting, Phoenix. The American Dietetic Association Annual Meeting, Chicago. Robert Weiss, MD, chief, pediatric neurology, Maria Fareri Childrens Hospital, Valhalla, N. Y. 2009 WebMD, LLC. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.